Goodnight and Go
by ArianZephyr
Summary: Roxas has been having these weird dreams about a guy he hasn't ever met and is beginning to question is own orientation. I suck at summaries, just read the story Rated M for later chapters. Yaoi&Yuri Don't like? Don't read! AkuRoku, Xion/Namine & more!
1. ProloguePrelude: Nonexistence

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Axel, Roxas, Kingdom Hearts, etc. That's why it's called a FANFICTION. xD**

_Note:_: I know it says prologue, but it is an IMPORTANT part of the story. At first its awfully familiar, no? But continue reading and it wont be was you expected!

+Prologue+

He walked at a steady pace through the semi-familiar streets. His feet seemed to almost glide, carrying his body with relative ease and care. But his body wasn't moving with the elegant gait it usually held. No. Something else was clouding his focus, something dire.

His non-existent heart was beating out of his chest as he found his place; the place at which he would wait. Nervous eyes scanned the surroundings -stormy skies, neon lights that were seemingly dimmed, broken concrete paths- for a familiar face.

He closed his hopeful eyes, praying that what he was waiting for would arrive; that he wouldn't be forgotten. His hands slipped into each other nervously, but briefly. They slipped out of the position and his left hand brought itself up and moved through his firey red hair to find its resting place on the base of his neck.

Suddenly footsteps echoed through the streets; the only sound prominate in the silence. The dim light became even more noticeable as his thoughts raced and he felt as though he were about to collapse. Feeling the need to look nonchalant, he leaned back and propped himself up against a cold wall, crossing his arms against his chest. He took a breath, trying desperately to look casual.

The footsteps echoed, the sound steadily growing louder. A familiar figure rounded the corner and it seemed as if for a moment, time slowed. He watched the boy's eyes focus straight ahead; ignoring him. His messy blonde hair was a imperfectly perfect as usual and his gait was steady -determined. There was a serious expression painted upon his face.

_'Roxas...'_ The name echoed through his mind.

The boy kept moving, not seeming to even notice him.

He panicked and let the first relevant thought escape through his mouth. "Your mind's made up?"

The boy replied nothing but cold bitterness in his voice; only turning slightly to flash a look at the redhead as he spoke. "Why did the keyblade choose me? I have to know."

He ignored he boy's question and stiffened. He felt an unmistakable desperation and fear fill his very being as he let his emotions break free. "You can't turn on the Organization! You get on their bad side and they'll destroy you!" He stared at the boy, his vision blurred with tears, probably un-noticeable to the rest of the world.

Roxas scoffed and spun on his heal away from the redhead. "Axel." His voice was stern and un-quavering as he recited his name. "_No one_ would miss me." And with that, his pause was finished and he moved on his way.

Axel practically leaped from the wall and into the open. His nonexistent heart beating uncontrollably in his chest, and his eyes on the back of the blondes head as he just walked away. His soft green eyes had filled to the brim with moisture and began to overflow, making a trail down his face, past the small tattoos that rest under each of his eyes, and off his jaw.

"That's not true!" Axel shouted, so many emotions trying to break free at once that his voice cracked, forcing him to lower it an octave for the next line. -Thats funny...He thought that he 'didn't have a heart' that he 'couldn't _feel_'... "I would." One last attempt to make Roxas understand, and his body language was not a step bellow pleading.

As he looked at the blonde-haired boy he noticed he paused his walking for a moment, but continued just as soon to move forward.

Axel couldn't take it. He wasn't going to let this happen. He flew from his place, his feet carrying him faster than ever before. A blur of red and black and he was standing before Roxas, gasping for air.

Roxas glared up at Axel, his eyes lacking the warmth and admiration they had held so many times before. Instead they were replaced with two cold blue marbles.

Axel was trembling with nervous fear. Roxas tried to maneuver past him but was blocked again and again until Axel's cold hand gripped his shoulder. He spun Roxas around and locked his icy glare with his warm, pleading emeralds full of an un-dieing emotion.

The redhead's gloved hand slipped up to the blonde's jaw. Roxas was too stunned to move, he just remained motionless. Axel carefully fit his hand onto the boy's neck, near his ear and bowed his head slightly. His eyes were now level with Roxas's and he was less than an inch from his face, breathing his sweet warm from onto him and feeling Roxas's in return.

He blinked his eyes shut gently and moved in even closer to close the gap between their mouths. As their lips touched, finally, Axel felt and unexplainable heat come over him, and joy, as well as something else, an emotion? One that he hadn't ever experienced before. He couldn't yet place his finger on it, but he wasn't letting this moment go.

Axel's left hand slid down and steadied itself on Roxas's hip, pulling him in closer. They were body to body.

He pressed his lips to Roxas's, wanted more. Roxas had still seemed in shock, and unsure of what to think. But when it came down to it, moment-by-moment; he caught on quickly. Either that or he finally gave into the burning longing in his stomach, because before long he was returning the favor.

He left his hand make its way to Axel's neck and immediately grab a fistful of hair playfully. His other hand wrapped around Axel and upward near his shoulder blade.

Axel's tongue had been snooping; begging, for a way inside and Roxas finally gave in. His lips parted and the muscle didn't hesitate. It pushed its was in and explored his mouth. Roxas played back, and their passion dance was beyond harmonious.

Axel suddenly released Roxas's mouth from his but still held him close. He softly moved his mouth around to Roxas's ear, his warm breath traveling down his neck.

"Roxas..." He breathed. "...There's something you need to know..."

Roxas held his eyes shut, breathing into Axel's cloaked shoulder and cherishing every moment he could. "Mm'hm?" He barely muttered, fearful that the moment would end.

The feeling Axel couldn't put his finger on before hit him. "Remember when I told you about love?"

"Yeah..."

"Roxas..." He took in Roxas's warmth and presence for another moment, fearful that he'd pull away. "I...I feel that word...that way...for you." He hesitated before calming himself. "I love _you_."

Roxas's eyes shot open. He pondered for a moment whether to pull a way or to move in closer. Soon though he made up his mind and took his mouth less than an inch from Axel's cloak. Just far enough that he could be better heard. "I think I understand...I mean...I think I feel it too." Oh how is eyes shone in that moment; if only Axel had seen them.

"Axel?... Is 'love'...I mean..does it feel like-" Roxas mumbled in question, unsure of so many emotions bombarding his being.

"Burning heat filling clouding your every thought? And a nervous rush whenever they approach, for the fear that they might turn the other way, or that you might do something stupid?" Axel finished Roxas's question.

"An attachment." Roxas added.

"Like, you're another part of me that I can't live without." Axel smirked warmly. He had changed so much since he had met Roxas.

Roxas inwardly grinned as he gripped Axel tighter. "I love you too."

Axel's blood rushed to the surface, causing him to blush faintly as he returned the favor.

After a moment in silence, Axel spoke. "Roxas..." He began to unwillingly tear up and had to pause to prevent his voice from cracking. He didn't want Roxas to know he was crying as he didn't like to show how he really felt usually. "Please don't leave me."

Roxas broke away and took a step back from Axel, gazing into his emerald eyes and catching sight of the tears welling in them. He looked away with a sigh. "I need to know who I am..."

"Roxas... You don't understand, do you? That isn't important." The redhead twisted his mouth awkwardly and looked down at his feet in frustration, stopping the tears from falling.

"Yes it is!" He spat back, clenching his fists.

"You don't get it! It will only hurt you more." Axel held back his strong temper, glancing at Roxas but without lifting his head. "I...Don't want to hurt you, Rox. If you leave, I'll be the one sent to eliminate you. Why can't you understand?"

Roxas bit his lip, noticing the sincerity in his voice. He let a sigh release itself from his lungs and escape his mouth before turning and taking a few steps in unsure directions. A frustrated hand ran through his messy hair before he turned to face Axel.

"Come with me." Relief from the confusion was evident in his voice.

"It's not that easy." Axel looked broken in heart and soul as he lifted his head and took a step toward the boy. "You're digging yourself a grave, Roxas. You need to get your priorities straight."

Roxas growled, "_You're_ the one needing your priorities straightened!" He took a breath, calming his system before speaking once more. "What's more important, Axel? Me..." He glanced away, "or the Organization?"

Axel didn't respond, he just glanced down as if there was too much to say.

"You say that you 'love' me, but you can't make a choice between me and them?" Roxas sounded broken.

Axel struggled, trying to find the right thing to say. "Its not like that Rox... I would never choose them over you, but..." he paused for a second, "...the Organization...The Castle that Never Was...The World that Never Was..." he glanced around at the world around them before turning his attention back to Roxas, "is our home. We're safe here, Roxas. If we leave...They won't let us go alive. I don't was to see you killed."

"I know that this could mean death...but it could also mean a new beginning. I can't keep living the way that they're making us live, Axel. We're slaves."

"Why do you always have to make things so damn _hard_?" Axel rubbed his temples. He thought of ways around this; ways to make this work. "You know what? We don't have to make a decision right now...Why don't we just stay somewhere else for tonight, and we can make up our minds in the morning...?" He pleaded, hoping Roxas would agree and time would be bought.

Roxas eyed him suspiciously, but he reluctantly nodded.

With that Axel summoned a dark corridor, and with Roxas in tow, stepped inside of it.

Axel led Roxas through the empty streets. Roxas's gloved hand gripped his as they walked. They made their way through the dimly lit streets, past small shops, and through various alleyways. They walked past the ice cream shop where they had bough sea-salt ice cream so many times before. After a few more moments of silent walking they moved up a short flight of stairs to the area below the clock tower.

Axel took a few steps forward to the large glass train station doors. He reached to check the door, and surprisingly, with a relaxed shove, it opened. He smirked and turned to Roxas, holding the station door open for him. Roxas took a few steps in and Axel caught up quickly.

To their left was an abandoned ticket booth, and ahead of them were the trains, nothing but empty shells without their passengers. But none of this was what hey were looking for. Their eyes scanned the dark station until they fell upon what they were searching for; a lonely stairwell. A sign was loosely chained in front of it reading; _"__DANGEROUS!__ Authorized Personnel Only." _Like anyone really abided by its words.

Axel lifted the chain, motioning for Roxas to swoop under it. Once he was through, Axel ducked under himself and they climbed the stairs together.

This scene was all too familiar; they rounded the corner and sat on the edge of the clock tower. But it was sweetly familiar. And besides, this time was different. It was dark and it was getting late, as well as there being no ice cream involved. The only lights remaining below were the lights that lit the paths that wound through the innocent little town.

Roxas hadn't noticed, but Axel had been watching him; studying him. He slid his hand along the ledge on which they were sitting and gently grabbed Roxas's.

Roxas jumped at the sudden touch, startling him out of the zoned out state he had been in. When he realized it was Axel's hand however, he began to relax and turned to flash Axel a smile.

Axel smirked, a mischievous gleam in his eye. He gripped Roxas's hand tighter and flung his body backwards. Roxas lost balance and fell back as well. They slid off the ledge and their backs hit the cold hard roof behind them, one right after the other.

"Hey!" Roxas glanced playfully at Axel as they both lay on the solid roof of the clock tower. "What was that for?"

A warm familiar laugh escaped the redheads being and across his face spread a wide grin. "What? You don't want to lay with me?" He forged a pout, forcing himself to stifle a laugh.

Roxas's mood reversed. "Oh." He couldn't help but stare at Axel's soft gaze. It was comforting and relaxing; those beautiful eyes. "Of course." Grinning, he moved in closer, cuddling into Axel's warm body. This was all very new to him, but he knew it was right. Something couldn't make him feel so happy and be wrong.

He shivered suddenly as a cold breeze swept across them.

"Are you cold?" Axel's voice was full of concern.

Roxas nodded, cuddling in closer, but it was all beginning to fade. He desperately tried to grab hold of Axel, but it was all gone and a sharp ringing was quickly replacing all the sights and feelings he had just experienced.

_**Author's Note:: Please review! I am already typing Chapter 1, so it should be up soon!**_


	2. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Kingdom Hearts, etc. _

_Reviewer Shout Out!: NinjaSheik, and tenspeed457 ~Thank you so much for the reviews! They mean a lot! _

+Chapter 1: Tired of Dreaming+

A sharp noise stung his previously unconscious ears. That's all it had become to him; a noise. No longer a ringing but a scream of dread that meant his day would kick off to an awful beat; as usual.

Casually he smacked the snooze button and rolled back over, covering his head with his comforter and snuggling into the warm covers.

It didn't even seem like he was able to fall back into the depths of sleep before that sharp echo charged his mind again. It startled him and teetering on the edge of his bed was no longer an option. A subconscious jump sent him crashing to his hard bedroom floor and out of the semi-conscious dream state.

_'That dream...It seemed...So real...Too real...'_ He yawned. "It was amazing..." Recalling the dream, he closed his eyes ad muttered, "Axel..." Desperately trying to fall back into his dream resulted in him closing his eyes tighter. It wasn't working. A sigh escaped his lungs. Who _was_ this mysterious guy?

Roxas blinked twice and rubbed the back of his head as he sat upright. The dim surroundings gave the illusion that it was till very much night. He sprawled lazily on the hardwood floor and brought his body into a large stretch before leaning against his bed on the floor. The angry alarm was still very much so present and becoming, in Roxas's mind, more and more pissed off.

After scanning the area for another option, he reached a lazy arm under his bed and took hold of a half-empty water bottle which he proceeded to chuck at the clock, sending it flying off his side table and onto the floor. A compartment cover slid off of the back to and AA batteries rolled across the floor. The awful noise had vanished.

"ROXAS!"

He ignored the angry call and immersed himself in the comforting darkness. He hoped that for once, things would go his way and he wouldn't be locked in a classroom for eight plus hours.

His hopes were useless. A distant thud persistently became louder, reminding him somewhat of the "Jaws" theme. Laughing inwardly, he looked at the door as the thud came to a halt.

It swung open and a confused woman stood in the doorway. "What are you _doing_?"

Quietly a spiky-haired brunette boy peeked over her shoulder.

"Stalling." Roxas grinned in a rather cheesy manner.

"Well, quit stalling and get ready." Said mother allowed herself into the room, nearly tripping over him before flinging open the curtains. "Don't lock out the sun." She added with a warm chuckle.

Roxas squinted as his gaze met the bright glow glaring through his window. He was barely able to see his mother march out of the room through the glare of sun. The light was practically blinding him. "Damn sun can kill itself..." He muttered grumpily.

Somehow he gathered enough motivation to bring himself to an unsteady standing position. Wobbling across the messy room, he grabbed a few articles of clothing that had previously been strung across the floor.

After stripping himself of his black t-shirt and grey sweatpants, he laid what articles he had grabbed from the floor across his bed. He fitted a well-fitting long-sleeved black short over his lithe figure, and over that he slipped on a hooded sleeveless v-neck. His pants were faded and had conveniently deep pockets.

Feeling bare, he reached for his neck before realizing what he was forgetting. He glided over to his side table and slid open a drawer to find what he was looking for. Without hesitation he draped his silver four-pointed necklace over his neck.

Roxas hobbled into the bathroom, still rather drowsy, to find his brunette brother finishing messing with his hair. It was now spiked up in all directions more perfectly then Roxas could ever imagine accomplishing himself.

"Morning, Rox!" The brunette boy chirped.

Roxas sighed. "Morning Sora..." He was already rummaging around the bathroom for his toothbrush.

Sora however was already prepared for the day ahead. He shook his head in disappointment at Roxas. "You're really lazy, you know..."

Roxas was limply squeezing the white minty paste onto the bristles of his kind of seemed slightly messed up to him in a way...Suddenly he snapped back into reality. "You know Sora, there's a distinct difference between being lazy and trying to get a decent amount of sleep when I was up until after four in the morning!" He ran the toothbrush under the sink for a moment before stuffing it into his mouth.

"Why the hell were you up that late?" Sora stood in complete awe at the situation.

"I wa-"

"You know what? Never mind." Sora rolled his eyes and took a step in the direction of the stairwell. "I'm eating breakfast." And with that he marched down stairs.

Stifling a laugh, Roxas spat the foamy white substance into the sink and ran water over the soft bristles of his toothbrush.

A glance into the mirror resting above the sink and he was quickly reminded of he rest of his routine. His hair stood up messily, and he did nothing more than use a flat-iron and hairspray to perfect the mess into more obvious, thick, spikes.

One last look in the mirror and he left the bathroom to his room across the hall. His bag lay on the floor, untouched from the previous night. With a grumble of discontent he grabbed the bag, slipped on his checkered high-tops, and lugged his stuff down the stairs.

Upon arrival to the kitchen, Sora sat smugly at the table with a slice of buttered toast in his hand and a waffle on a plate where Roxas usually sat..

With an amused yet strangely discontent smirk, Roxas flopped down at the kitchen table. "Of course, Sora." He rolled his eyes, yet smiled despite how sickeningly tired he was.

Sora grinned in return. He and his twin were ridiculously close and he was glad he knew all the secrets to cheering him up.

Roxas sighed slightly happily before flashing Sora a disgusted look. "Buttered toast Sora? _Really..._?" He rolled his eyes and let his palm drag over his face before it fell limply to the table.

"Whaattt?" Sora whined, "what's wrong with buttered toast? You wanna trade for the waffle I made you?"

"Holy crap Sora. What's wrong with you?" He moved his eyes to the wall clock; it read_ 7:15am. _He sighed in disappointment. "There's no time today...But one of these days I'm gonna cook you a real breakfast!" Roxas laughed only moments before shoving a large piece of waffle into his mouth and chewing quickly.

Sora finished his toast off in one final bite and leaned back in his chair with his arms folded behind his head. "Yeah, sure Rox." He scoffed. "I'd like to see you try."

The blonde swallowed a mouthful of syrup and waffle. "Don't doubt me." In a hurry he ate the last bite before continuing. "You'll see."

Roxas then put his plate in the dishwasher. He stretched and walked up the stairs to his room, heading straight toward the metal desk in the corner. He slid open a drawer to find a pack of spearmint gum. He chewed a piece and pocketed three more. With that he ran back down to the kitchen and slung his bag over his shoulder. "Ready, Sor?" He asked while simultaneously looking at the clock; _7:28am_.

Sora nodded, having been ready for far too long.

"See ya Mom!" The twins shouted in unison.

"Have a good day!" She shouted back at them just before Roxas shut the door behind them.

The fifteen minute walk to school seemed exceedingly longer than usual, considering the fact that they had walked the same path every day, and the school year was nearing its close.

Today though, something unusual had occurred. Sora had arranged, to Roxas's surprise, for some of their friends to meet up and walk to school with them.

Roxas was surprisingly displeased. Normally he would have loved for them to join him and Sora; it would change the scenery -make the morning a bit brighter. However, today was different. His mind was somewhere else and he knew that its stay could be a lifetime. He could not keep himself from thinking about his dream.

All his life he had thought that he was straight. But his dream had opened his eyes to a new horizon. However he didn't entirely believe his conscious and there was no way he was going to let a single dream change his sexuality. He hadn't ever even questioned his sexuality before. This was all so new to him.

Shaking his head to free his thoughts, he was knocked back into consciousness.

Suddenly him and Sora were walking toward where their friends stood near a bench along the sidewalk.

Taller Riku with his long silver hair, and spunky auburn-haired Kairi who had previously been seated on the bench, rose to their feet at the sight of Sora. Kairi grinned widely and Sora returned the gesture but added another aspect by raising his arms in a sweet way of asking for a hug. Kairi accepted his offer and walked into Sora's arms, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Riku and Roxas simultaneously looked at each other and rolled their eyes.

Sora noticed and broke away from the embrace Kairi had trapped him in. "Hey! I saw that!"

Riku laughed and punched Sora's shoulder playfully. "You know we're just teasing you, Sor."

Roxas nodded, but his thoughts were elsewhere. With a yawn and a stretch he zoned out of the rest of their conversation. He turned his attention to a petite girl with pale skin and long pale blonde hair to match, and a thin girl with short black hair.

They were leaned against a fence, hand-in-hand, and when they noticed Roxas walking toward them, the black-haired girl quickly leaned over and kissed the blonde-haired girl on the cheek, whispering something inaudible to Roxas in her ear before leaning back against the fence and scratching the back of her head like nothing had happened.

The blonde-haired girl, known as Namine, was blushing ridiculously, trying desperately to look nonchalant but failed and resorted to raising her free hand in a wave, flashing a sweet smile at Roxas. "Hey, Roxas!"

Roxas inwardly rolled his eyes, but outside he was smirking in his usually friendly manner. He debated whether or not to comment on what he had just witnessed, but decided against it.

"Hey Namine."

Despite how obvious she was about how she felt regarding Namine, Namine wasn't too keen on letting the whole world known. She was the shy type and had obviously been extremely embarrassed by the other girl's public display of affection. However, at least Roxas knew about the couple, it was hard not too.

Roxas recalled just the previous year when he had a crush on both of the girls. He was glad the feeling had faded and he had never admitted his "feelings", for it was obvious the feeling had not been mutual.

He moved his sights from Namine to the black-haired girl and revealed an awkward half-grin. "Hey Xion."

Roxas's friendly greeting was met with a cautious glare from Xion, silently warning him. Roxas just laughed and shook his head slowly before looking back at the both of them. Xion was the one who had told him about her relationship with Namine. They were close friends, Xion and Roxas.

Xion shuffled her feet awkwardly. "So...Are we gonna get to school, or are we just going to be late for home room?"

Other than Roxas and Namine, Riku was the first to notice Xion's comment and responded with a look like the world had just exploded and nobody told him about it.

"SHIT!" Riku cursed, "We better get going!"

Xion rolled her eyes and muttered, "like I_ didn't_ just say that..." under her breath.

Nobody seemed to notice Xion, but everyone seemed to follow Riku's lead in continuing their walk to the school. Riku, Sora, and Kairi in the lead, Xion and Namine not far behind, and Roxas feeling like the awkward tag-a-long.

_**Author's Notes:: Thanks for reading! I know this chapter isn't very interesting. I'm sorry. :C I promise that the next Chapter will be better! I just had to use this chapter to set up situation/setting/etc. Sssooo, yep. The next chapter is already written out for the most part. Its just a matter of typing and uploading, so it shouldn't be too long. C:**_


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